[It almost sounds like the opening to a joke: "a drug lord and a killer maid walk into a bar..." but Firo's more confused than amused. He raises an eyebrow at Revy.]
...Uh-huh. And I suppose that's normal where you're from?
[He still looks absolutely baffled by this concept, but he supposes there's some sense in it. She could probably sneak into a lot of places and get people to let their guards down.]
Actually, no, which is why everyone in Roanapur was shittin' their pants when they found out she was in town. This particular maid wasn't the one everyone was worried about, though -- we had another one a while back that was a million times more awful. Fuckin' Terminator, that one.
[Unfortunately for Firo, Little Mac could only expose him to so many modern movies in the time they had together. Her explanation only sends him further spiraling into confusion.]
So! Even though this maid right now isn't the one we were all worried about, she's still trouble. She was employed by the same family as the other one, so obviously there had to be some connection there. Eventually she gets into a fight with the cartel thugs and starts mowin' them down like overgrown grass.
Now of course Gustavo is fucking terrified and wants more of his boys to back him up. The bar phone starts ringing 'cause his men outside are wondering what the fuck is going on inside, but Bao doesn't want his bar destroyed for the millionth time, so he grabs the phone away from Gustavo and tells him to get the hell out. Gustavo lunges for the phone again, and, well...
Let's just say they got into the wrestling match of the century. Seriously, you'd never have found anything that golden on Pay-Per-View.
[And this was the real deal, not that staged BS on WWF and the like.]
That's the thing with a lot of scumbags like him. They can wear the finest Italian suits around, but that doesn't change the fact that they're walking sacks of shit that'll fall apart if you so much poke at 'em.
Well, Bao managed to smash the phone in the process, so I guess you could say he won. But the line going dead spooked Gustavo's goons outside into firing on the bar, so Bao got himself some free open-air renovations. Between them and Little Miss Maid pulling out a grenade launcher inside the place, the Yellow Flag was the worst I'd ever seen it.
[And it wasn't her fault this time! Not completely.]
Yeah, I almost thought the bar was a goner! I didn't recognize the model she used, so I wasn't sure how many rounds were in it. But she fired off enough to make her point, and some of the shittiest scumbags in Roanapur fled in terror from a little girl who'd barely begun to grow her tits out.
[He wrinkles his nose in distaste at her last remark. Come on, Revy, you can't just talk about a girl like that! But (thankfully) before he can give her a lecture on manners he's distracted by one of the thousands of questions bouncing around in his head right now.]
...So, hang on a sec. What were you doin' this whole time?
Well, there wasn't really anyone left to fight after that -- they were either dead or they split the scene. Gustavo wanted to blow her brains out, of course, but I convinced him to stand down.
[Firo agrees with her decision completely--you can't let someone hurt a girl, even if she has a grenade launcher--but he knows a lot of people who wouldn't.]
Nope! Ain't seen her a day before in my life. But she wanted to talk to Rock -- my buddy, I mean -- about something important, though, so I couldn't let her just die there.
[Firo can probably already tell that Revy's priorities may be...a little skewed.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
A what?
no subject
You heard me. A killer maid. Blades in her shoes and automatics in her sleeves, equipped for the most important kind of clean-up duty.
no subject
[He still looks absolutely baffled by this concept, but he supposes there's some sense in it. She could probably sneak into a lot of places and get people to let their guards down.]
no subject
Actually, no, which is why everyone in Roanapur was shittin' their pants when they found out she was in town. This particular maid wasn't the one everyone was worried about, though -- we had another one a while back that was a million times more awful. Fuckin' Terminator, that one.
no subject
..."Terminator"?
no subject
[Revy's a little surprised that Firo doesn't seem to be understanding the Terminator reference. He got the Rocky one just fine!]
Yeah, you know! The movie with Ah-nold "I'll-be-back" Schwarzenegger. She even did the whole walking-out-of-the-fire-unscathed thing!
[...which Revy only found out later from Rock because she'd actually been knocked out when it happened.]
no subject
The move with who?
[Geez, and people say he has a funky last name.]
no subject
[Revy just stares at him in disbelief before shaking her head. Maybe they just didn't get that stuff over in Italy or something.]
...never mind. The point is that everyone was expecting a lot more trouble than they actually got. Well, at first, anyway.
no subject
[He nods and waves his hand for her to continue.]
no subject
Now of course Gustavo is fucking terrified and wants more of his boys to back him up. The bar phone starts ringing 'cause his men outside are wondering what the fuck is going on inside, but Bao doesn't want his bar destroyed for the millionth time, so he grabs the phone away from Gustavo and tells him to get the hell out. Gustavo lunges for the phone again, and, well...
Let's just say they got into the wrestling match of the century. Seriously, you'd never have found anything that golden on Pay-Per-View.
[And this was the real deal, not that staged BS on WWF and the like.]
no subject
He clucks his tongue in disdain.]
You'd think he'd have more dignity.
no subject
no subject
[Gangsters may be pretty similar to drug lords, but Firo feels no kinship with them at all.]
So who won?
no subject
[She snorts.]
Well, Bao managed to smash the phone in the process, so I guess you could say he won. But the line going dead spooked Gustavo's goons outside into firing on the bar, so Bao got himself some free open-air renovations. Between them and Little Miss Maid pulling out a grenade launcher inside the place, the Yellow Flag was the worst I'd ever seen it.
[And it wasn't her fault this time!
Not completely.]no subject
[He's getting anxious just thinking about something similar happening in Alveare or his casino.]
no subject
Yeah, I almost thought the bar was a goner! I didn't recognize the model she used, so I wasn't sure how many rounds were in it. But she fired off enough to make her point, and some of the shittiest scumbags in Roanapur fled in terror from a little girl who'd barely begun to grow her tits out.
no subject
...So, hang on a sec. What were you doin' this whole time?
no subject
What else? Waitin' for the fireworks to die down. Bao's bar counter is bulletproofed, so I camped out behind there with him and my buddy.
no subject
Smart.
[He rests his elbows on the table, leaning forward.]
And then what happened after that? Did she keep fightin' 'em?
no subject
[With her gun.]
no subject
[Firo agrees with her decision completely--you can't let someone hurt a girl, even if she has a grenade launcher--but he knows a lot of people who wouldn't.]
no subject
Nope! Ain't seen her a day before in my life. But she wanted to talk to Rock -- my buddy, I mean -- about something important, though, so I couldn't let her just die there.
[Firo can probably already tell that Revy's priorities may be...a little skewed.]
no subject
[Oh, he's definitely noticed. He wishes he weren't surprised by how he always manages to run into people who are a bit strange.]
So what was so important? Did they tell you?
no subject
Yeah, sure. [Another smirk.] But I ain't tellin' you unless you win another round.
[After all, he just wanted to know about the fight between the gangster and the bartender, not the other stuff.]
no subject
What? But you barely told me anything!
[He did interrupt a lot, but still.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)